Take Me To The Disco

Saturday, January 31, 2009

She's 17 and I'm 15.
She hangs out with people who are older than her.
Her friends are 20 years old.
They smoke and they go to clubs.
She inhales the smoke and she drinks.

When she gets scolded, I helped.
When she's upset, I helped.
When she's troubled, I helped.

When I call her, she gives excuses.
When I ask her, she lies.
When I talk to her, she scolds.
When I give her advices, she ignores.

She's not doing her responsibilities.
She's been out day in day out.
She goes off without telling where to.
She's spending money on unnecessary things like sponsoring her friend's 20th birthday.
She thinks my 16th birthday should not be celebrated cos it's a waste of money.
She's spending the whole day on my birthday with her friend.

Sweet 16 is actually a special year for girls and guys (if they wan it to be).
It's definitely a special year for me. So i really wan to celebrate it with people that i do care about.
The last birthday i spent with my family was actually my 11th birthday.
My parents technically missed 5 birthdays, but they called to ask bout the celebrations.
I'm not trying to be dramatic here, but since blogs are created to let people express their feelings, i'm trying to make good use of it.

Parents: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Jo: Thanks!
Parents: So how was your day? Went out for dinner with your sis?
Jo: *ignores the sister part and start telling about what my beloved friends did for me*

The reason why i chose to ignore the sister part was because i noe she didn't care.
she spent my birthdays with her friends. The only time she celebrated for me was on my 13th birthday.
There was a cake, and the whole idea was suggested by my aunt(maths tutor).
She probably would have gone out with her friends again.
Her birthday happens to be during holiday when we'd be in Indonesia.
So her birthday celebrations would be huge. But if we never return, i'd still get her presents.

Back to the birthday, it kinda hurts knowing that the only family member i have in Singapore is not gonna celebrate my special year with me.
It's saddening knowing that the special bond I thought i had with my sis is fading.
She's getting out of control *even the younger sis can say so*.

She came home extremely late last night (1 am plus).
I have completely no idea where she went and what she did.
She got up and was all cranky. She scolded me and threw tantrums over a stupid damn file.
I argued back till she lost cos she knew it was her fault.
She apologized with the sarcastic, 'im-mature-and-youre-a-stubborn-idiot' attitude. Like she was actually right and acting like she's giving in to me.
She started telling her friend a whole different story and cursed me like nuts.

This is completely unlike her.
It's like she got a 180degrees attitude change.
She's going to friend's club tonight.
If I dun tell my mom, and something happens to her..
It'll be all my fault. But if i do tell, things gonna get ugly. real ugly.

She's the older one, she should be the one stopping me from doing foolish things, things that can endanger myself (like what she's been doing).
She's supposed to be the more responsible one.
But it's the other way round and the disadvantage of being the younger sister, when the elder one is doing wrong things, I can't stop her.

She's no longer the one that i turn to when i feel troubled.
She's no longer the one that i tell my life-stories to.
She's no longer the one that i trust.

I'm extremely super goober posolutely-absitively amazingly glad that I have friends that i can count on (:
Friends that always there when in need (:
Friends that do care about me like how much i care for them (:
Friends that keep me going through it all (:

You guys are amazing human beings and I love you guys to pieces.

7:48 PM